Emotions

I have called our caseworker countless times letting her know that on weeks our toddler has multiple visits with birth parents, we observe the following: pooping in the bath tub, pounding his head into the wall after visits, slapping my face, and up for hours in the middle of the night crying.  Her response: "don't worry, he doesn't know what is going on. He is too little."


This week was the 1st week in 2012 where our toddler hasn't had any visits with birth parents and he is like a new kid. Why don't caseworkers/attorney's listen to me when I tell them these visits are affecting him emotionally which in turn affect his behavior?!?!  The crap children in the foster care system have to go through that affects them emotionally and behaviorally for the rest of their life is heart breaking to me. 


May our home always be a safe place for these precious children.  May foster children always know that I will be a mommy who will stay up with them for hours in the middle of the night calming their cries. I will hug them when they hit me. I will refill their bath tub as many times as I need to to ensure they have clean water to bathe their little bodies. 


I will be here when the rest of the world may think my child's behavior is out of control. I will understand that they have no way of expressing the emotional pain they are feeling other than acting out behaviorally. I will understand that we may not even see much of the emotional damage that has been done to our foster children until they are much older.  I will love these children with all of my heart and do whatever I can to provide them a stable home where they are covered in love. 

1 Week

1 week since our little girl left. 


Heart ache, sadness, and worry. Falling asleep only to wake up 30 minutes later thinking about your little girl. 


We've been living every foster parent's worse dream: having your baby returned to birth parents before they have proven themselves ready.